Chasing that ever after

I was watching E! True Hollywood Story: Halle Barry, and she unfold that she couldn't find internal happiness, not until she's in her forties and pregnant with a child. So with a child on the way, on top of her success in the media, she is spiritually at peace.

Wait till her kid pops out and start crying all day and all night and then the depression starts. Then she would likely to say 'goodbye' to her internal happiness when she and her kid doesn't bond, and when they have no emotional relationship between them. And she'll be crying and crying as to think why things happened this way and that how a horrible mother she is blah blah blah. It's a sad happy ending indeed.

Me, on the other hand, still don't know what I want in life.

It's you, it's you, You make me sing

I attempted to sew this picture of an optcal illusion :






And this is my masterpiece. I'd say, I think its not bad for an amateur.









Baby and I went to West Coast Park again. It's our most favourite hang-out spot. We sat at the breakwater where we enjoyed the sea breeze and the listening to the waves crashing in. Ironically, I was perspiring and he didn't, the first time that it occured. I really enjoy my time with him, since its been eons since we went out on a proper date. The night was perfect, it was romantic; he cooked his scrumptious spaghetti for the both of us, and we just enjoyed each other's company. There was the occasional stench of fish 'cause there was someone fishing quite near us, but we didn't let it bother us. It's kinda a couples night 'cause the place was filled with lovers, and families, and random people fishing.






And I get to kiss you baby just because I can
i looooovvvvveeeee Fariz the gangsta/nigga





We havn't been really spending a lot of quality time with each other, and there's an urgency to do so since he's going away.

Birthday Boy

The Birthday Boy

And his accomplice cum princessthe good ol' times (but it gets better every day)

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY FARIZ !

Remember the keychain that I bought for us a long time ago, the one with our birthdays on it? Well yours goes like this : " People born on this date (21st October) can be very romantic. They believe in the heaing power of love and can be very affectionate. A rare gem."

I can't totally disagree what the keychain says but it is mostly true. Despite your kackass/joker exterior, you are very very romantic (and I bet many people don't know this). Thank you for randomly buying me roses occasionally, even though there's no special occasion. Thank you for showering me with all your love and assuring me that everything's gonna be fine when I'm all flustered and worried. I'm sorry that I misjudged you last year, but you were so mean to me! You're a kind-natured person, you wouldn't wanna hurt any small (or disgusting) creature. Your tough exterior covers it all, and what you have gone through all these years, all those past mistakes, has only made you a stronger person. Each story that you unfold makes me fall head over heels with you all over again. It made me understand you better, why you do things in such a way, why were you so protective of me, and why you're so afraid to lose me. You're a passionate lover baby, and that makes you unique.

I hope you won't live on regrets or past mistakes. But you are moving on, rest assured. With your capabilities, you can do wonders. You can even come up with a cure for some disease. I know this is cliché, but success doesn't come easily witout effort and hard work . After NS, when you take your private A's/diploma/degree, you're gonna have a solid 2-3 hour study session with me. I wanna take my masters with you, as we planned. I wanna revive that feeling of being in the same school/class with you.

And with that, I wish you all the best in your future endeavours.

I hope you had fun today, as much as I did.

I ♥ you baby.

P.S: Don't worry about me when you go NS. I'll be fine on my own, I'll take care of myself and do as you told me to do. I'll probably coop up at home and study to get both my feet into university (: and I hope you'll fulfill your dreams and get your feet in there with me. And when you get back on mainland, I promis you we'll have the time of our lives (:

Peace Out

I'll go wherever the wind takes me to

So many (shocking) things have occured in the past week. Firstly, was the release of the promotional status, and most likely my class has to split up again(which totally sucks 'cause I really do love A2 and Ms Wendy Choo). I was late on that day, hence I have to serve detention on a rather short day. Then comes the news of one of my dearest closest girlfriend whom got herself pregnant. I really didn't expect that from her, knowing that she's pious and smart enough not to get herself into trouble. What's worse is that her A levels are around the corner. On the same night, baby got his letter to serve NS starting on the 3rd of Dec. I really don't know what to expect when he's away, we're both close-knitted despite our heated arguments, we never fail to make up.

This year flew so fast. The only significant thing about this year was the never-ending examintions. Mid-years, then one month later was promos, and in a weeks time I'll sitting for my H1s. I have a perfect reason to break down once in a while this year.

I wonder if I have to be alone on new year's eve. Last year ended perfectly with friends and family, and now those friends are not really talking to each other anymore, not so sure about spending time with my family though.

And right now I'm sitting in front of my laptop thinking 'oh shit my a levels are coming', while listening to baby whose asleep over the phone (I love listening to him snoring, he'd make weird noises especially when he has a blocked nose, and he'll talk in his sleep! The other time he randomly scolded me with vulgarities 'cause he dreamt that he was playing rugby and I was his opponent. He's not snoring nor talking in his sleep right now) and I'm so unprepared for math and tomorrow's OP presentation. It's a relief that school's coming to an end, I am very very sick of it.

Some time ago, I skipped school and got detention for it. But the detention for skipping school was worth it, I did had fun, the one that I've been missing in a long time. Baby and I brought Khalid to the library.

Look at those puffy eyes. Its all PW's fault! Making me stay up super late at night just to edit and re-do the damn thing.

Little kids playing in the library. Don't we all wish that we were kids again?

Less revelling, more festivity

It's the 7th day of celebration, and I'm hoping I would collect more money. I need that money. I gotta buy present(s) for *cough cough wink wink* a certain birthday boy man.



This year's celbrations was different with the death of my grandmother. We went to visit her grave along with other relative's of our's. It was very emotional for me 'cause I do miss her a lot, I miss her touch and her scent and her stories. My family and I walked around with ice cream in our hands while searching for my relatives' graves. People were staring at us. We looked like lost souls ourselves.

Despite the solemn first day of Raya, the festivity continues. And my collections (of money) starts too.


CASE 1: My Younger Sister
Not only is she competing to get as much or more money than me, she's also on a mission to look out for cute guys (unlike me). She thinks some of our cousins are hot, I doubt so, 'cause cousins will always be cousins and blood-related, kinda icky if you think that one of them is cute. Unless its like a passing compliment thing. So anyway, my sister would oogle and oogle at boys and tell me how much she wants to know them. Then I told her just go talk to them, after all you are cousins, and she's too shy to do it. And she reads my messages to baby. That girl is kinda annoying at times, but she makes a good cam-whoring buddy.

CASE 2: My mother

Strangers would think that my mom is my sister and my sister is my BFF. Ever since my mom got her driver's liscence, she's been venturing out on her own, increasing the speed that she drives, and being familiar with the roads. That day she tag along an uncle of mine in some ulu, unfamiliar place called Bukit Panjang. My family could get lost there.

For every house that we visited, my mom would compare and contrast the interior design and furniture to the ones in our house. She'll go like " blah blah interior design very nice but the furniture is so mainstream 'cause it's from courts blah blah... mine is from Da Vinci blah blah", its as if my mom's entering a World's Best Home Competition.

CASE 3: The Aunt

So my closest aunt kept insisting all those male cousins to come and sit with us and have a chat. Her intentions were to promote her two beautiful neices, like a mini matchmaking service. My sister, more often, would be delighted to do so, she's given a chance to talk to boys she fancy. But her services are well utilised, 'cause if she hadn't intro us to our supposedly close cousins, we wouldn't start a conversation at all.

CASE 4: The Baby Brother
My baby brother, as cute as he is, can be also a pain in the ass. He collected more money than me, (like duh I'm close to retirement) using his charms with all the aunties and uncles. I have this uncle who's a taxi driver and on that day we rode in his cab with my mom's car following behind him. And when we went up to a relative's house, Khalid asks why this taxi driver is following us. Oh and on the first day of Raya when we're at the cemetry,the tired tyke sat on any of the graves. When we were visiting our relatives' graves as well he asked 'Is this grandma's graves too? Grandma sure has a lot of graves'. God, bless his soul.

This is my late grandfather's family. His grown-up kids and 44-50 grandchildren. There's more on the way.

And this is a really old family potrait of my late grandfather with his second wife, Mak Biah (my step-grandmother) and his children. So plus my dad and my two aunts from his first marriage, he has 13 kids. Lucky number.

Meet Dolly. She's my aunts and late grandmother's cat, so technically she's my direct and closest cousin. I love her to bits, I think she's really adorable. But she's one fierce cat, and she hates small kids who love to disturb her. She would scratch them when they try to pat or poke her. But she's really old, 12 human years, so she's like a senior citizen in cat years.

She told you that in his arms is where she'd be

Malay class yesterday was rather fun. Not only did we ate Hari Raya cookies, we also get to know a little more about each other. My malay teacher started poking her nose at our love lives, asking who is attached, why we love him/her, and what are the traits that or significant other half must have. Some of the boys gave stupid ones like the girl must have freedom, and not the type where she has a curfew of 7 pm that type of thing, and the girl has to be a sex bomb (but I guess sex appeal is kinda important too), however the girls gave really good ones. I guess all girls/women have the same ideal characteristics of their boyfriends/husbands. Honest, faithful, caring, loving, funny, witty, and that pinch of edginess. Of course, looks and masculanity would be a bonus too. Oh not forgetting the feeling of security when she's with her man.