I wanna hold his hand, maybe I'll just sing about it.

Hello, Mr Tough Guy


Christmas Eve was spent at Angela's, she and her boyfriend Mervyn had invited us for dinner, plus Merv's childhood friend and his girlfriend, so there was 3 couples eating halal turkey and a wide range of side dishes. We all had a hard time cutting the turkey, none of us knew how to do it, so Merv took out 3 different knives and using a small fork, the turkey was in pieces in no time. The guys talked about NS days, since Fariz is going through right now and both Merv and his friend are 23, both with experiences in how to cheat-your-way-through. Angela passed me a stack of other school's prelim papers, and if that didn't scared me enough, I saw her billion notes all over her room (it's the post-exam thing where your notes are all over the place). Oh my, she takes the same combi as me except for GP, and she's from an acclaimed junior college. I was envious of her lit assignments 'cause she has tons of them! I mean I believe that the literature students in my school have a lack of practice, probably one of the reasons why we're not doing so well in that subject. And Angela has a lot of materials for literature, too bad we're not doing the same books.

So this A-level thing next year got me worried. Not only me but baby too (we plan to do the same degree and go for masters together). I barely can remember what I learnt for the past year and there's a lot of brushing up and 3 years of hard work crammed into 1.

The next two days was spent with baby, we watched The Kite Runner on my laptop.

In my opinion, I think I'm the suckiest girlfriend ever. I lied to him a couple of times, but its those little white lies to cover yourself from getting into trouble. I told him months back that I hadn't been really covering up (but I do now) and just weeks ago I lied about not going home alone late in the dark. It meant the world crashing down on him when I told him the truth, he took these seriously and I totally disappointed him. I felt super guilty afterwords.

Us being in a serious relationship, we were suppose to tell each other everything. There were other events recently happened that got him really mad about me. The most recent one was that I didn't tell him about this guy who've been hitting on me. He totally shot me down there, it affected the both of us very much. We have been fighting a lot, but there are an equal share, if not more happier times; what makes it worse is that he's away and we can't meet each other the very next day to make it up. Most of the fights are caused by me, my stupid mistakes, if not those fights get heated because of the both of us. I've learn from him to give in more, he usually ends the fights, while me still being hot-headed and stubborn would just prolonged it. But I guess I'm getting better at this patience-and-giving-in thing, but its a long way to go. His problem is not letting go of the past, but slowly and surely with my assurance and undying love for him, he'll get over that.

It's been two days since he booked in, these two days I've been sleeping in due to the cough medicine i took, reminiscing all those Saturdays at the Botanic Gardens. I miss having picnics there with baby, NS sucks, he agrees with me too, and right now my baby is spending his free time playing chinese chess while I finish up this post.