romantic dramedy

nisa: i like your jacket....its niiiiccceee
humaira: duh, it's from mango
nisa: then i buy one from pear lor
humaira: i think the one from orange is nicer


wei xuan: i have a high IQ and an even higher EQ which makes me special
nisa: uhhh...i got a higher EQ than you ok
wei xuan: but you got a lower IQ cause you fail your exams
nisa: so that makes me a retard is it?
wei xuan: no, it makes u an emo genius


wei xuan: so humaira how did you do in your exams?
humaira: bad but its considered quite good ... i have like an A, 2 Es, one C and 2 Ss
wei xuan: wah not bad ahh... i didn't expect that from you
humaira: what the hell you very bad le
wei xuan: it's ok now i know that you're not an emo genius like nisa. at least i think you have a higher IQ than her
nisa: hoooooonnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyy. wth.






free dramedy show right in front of me. it was pure entertainment.






'music and lyrics'

innoncence

mr chua: (points out at me) you ! come out and lead the excercise
humaira: what did i do ?!


i swear i hate pe nowadays. its so booorrriiinnngg and the people i have pe with .... well let's just say they're different from what i experience with the girls in kc during pe.

damn i made a fool of myself when i 'lead' the pe exercises.



today was ms foong's last day in school so sad. she's gonna marry her cute japanese boyfriend in japan. the dancers had a mini celebration for her. but before that she gave us our long overdue geog test on mass movements. i was sitting next to joyce and she keep falling asleep eventhough i nudge her a couple of times!

my friend very cute

damn i'm gonna miss ms foong.



stuuupppiiiid insect bites from obs haven't healed and it itches super bad.

damn my legs and elbows are filled with scars.



the pile of project work , assignments and tests are getting higher.

i have no idea why i'll feel super tired when i get home from school everyday.

it makes me moodless to do any work.

damn my tiredness.



'where do i draw the line'

the agony of PTMs

i decided to go for the King Lear play at the Esplanade yesterday after all.
it was 4 hours longggg.....couldn't understand most of the play cause i didn't completely read my text
everyone dressed up so nicely ... pictures soooonn

moving on...
parent-teacher-meeting was about two and a half hours ago...
it was the most agonising 10 minutes of my life
i bet the teachers could sense the awkwardness between my dad and i
Mdm Ong and Ms Ong (they're not related by the way) didn't really have anything bad to say
just the usual "pleasant student" and "keep up the hard work"
and my dad keep going on and on about how my literature was horrendous ( i got a sub-pass for lit and malay, but my dad doesn't really give shit about malay, like i do)
he suggested to the teachers that they should have a reading list to improve the student's language
my dad praised me for getting an A for my H1 mathematics
cause i used to loath maths and it was one of my weaker subjects
and he told sort of scolded me for my disgusting grades cause i'm nowhere near stepping into a university (in front of the teachers)
my dad then asked what do i want to do in uni, and i said maybe arts and social sciences
so he told me that faculty i wanted to be in is not really that 'big' in singapore
he suggested (or wanted rather) for me to take up law
the funny thing is my mother and my aunt is so against me for doing law (i have no idea why)
taking up law in NUS = straight As for all my subjects
ok, now i'm driven.


here are my disgusting results :

Subject Grade

H1
General Paper C
Malay Language S(38.5)
Mathematics A

H2
Economics E
Geography E
Literarure in Engllish S(39.8)


i used to get straight B3s for my O level examinations and complained B for 'BORING'
now i don't have a single B at all
how ironic





'i am a fighter'

emotions.

Woke up feeling like a corpse, dead on the inside. my body was aching like crazy, especially my abdomen, due to yesterday's PE and dance. felt feverish so i decided to skipped school today and not go for the King Lear play later in the evening.

Its amazing how words could affect me deeply and change my perception. although i vowed that words can never harm me, but it actually does. why am i so easily bought over by other people's opinion???

Something has been bothering me likely, i could tell. i'm all about losing my appetite and getting tired super easily, often wanting to go straight to bed when i reach home. this period of time (as i have experienced in previous years) is my moodless-tiring-prone-to-stress-and-sickness period, and i truely hate this period of time in my life. funny, it always happened at a specific period of time every year, which is the term after school reopens from the june holidays.

By far, i feel that this is the worse moodless-tiring-prone-to-stress-and-sickness period i have ever had. i woke up every single day thinking "what the fuck have i done yesterday", regretting the stupid stupid mistakes i did the day before. i've been crying more than before and its not just PMS-ing. i'm quieter than usual, bottled all my feelings to myself, and suddenly come to realize i can't trust anyone.

So my solution is to avoid anything that's bothering me and be around with contented people since almost everyone i know is somber and depressed. i know that's like the worse possible solution, but i have no energy to do all the other possibilities.

It sucks to wake up everyday feeling like a dead fish. i feel so sick of my life, i have no idea why. every day has been like a boring routine, with no abrupt surprises. i have been mean and cold to those around me. so if any one of you got hurt, forgive me.

i think i'm depressed. i have no other sense of direction except for doing well in school. i don't know what i aspire to do, i'm just wasting my time doing meaningless things which doesn't really make any improvements in my life. i need time to grow.




'i'm my worse enemy'

i heart dance

i love my dance committee (((:







'when everything's meant to be broken'

i heart granny

so anyway today the year ones were released early due to the GCE A Levels MT listening compre...ooohh before that i spoke malay in front of the entire class and everyone was in awe and laughed ... i can speak 'cacat-angmoh-kc' melayu if i want to ok..

so waited with the boys for Joyce but in the end i had to leave first. caught up with fiona, liwen and melvin and took the train all the way to bedok with liwen. went to my grandmother's house to visit her cause i have not seen her in ages.

my grandmother took 2 seconds to realize that it was me, Humaira Bte Zainal Abiden, her oldest and favourite granddaughter, had visited her. she smiled as i salam her, and i could see tears in her eyes. mind you she's like 90 years or older and suffering from Parkinson's disease.

this took me way back when i was a little small girl who often slept at my grandmother's house during the holidays. she was the one who raised me instead of my mother (cause my mother gave birth to my brother soon she had me and she couldn't handle two infants at the same time) and i have lived with her for the first three years of my life. i remember i felt so torn between the two households when the holidays ended and would cry secretly whenever i have to part with my grandmother eventhough i knew that she would not be gone forever. i would always depend on my parents to drive my siblings and i for a visit, from every sunday to once a month, and now i could count the number of times i visitedher within my two hands.

i could sense the joy in my grandmother when she saw me standing in front of her, greeting her. she insists that i sleep over but i just can't cause i have school the next day. i really wished that i could stay over for at least one night but i just couldn't.

Alhamdullilah, she's in good health despite her severe memory loss. she kept thinking that i was still in katong convent, eventhough i was in my MI uniform.

i admire my grandmother for her determination and hardwork as well as her kindness towards others as she raised three children with beyond degree holders all on her own. i love listening to stories of my complicated family background. she's always ever patient and i have never seen her ever get angry or hold grudges. i really think my late grandfather was at a loss for leaving my grandmother for another women (my grandmother and step-grandmother are great friends now by the way)

i'm just afraid that i am not able to give back to her for what she has done to me.

i felt really really really guilty cause i should have visited her more often on my own. she's not getting any younger and i would really wished that she could live forever. i have this fear that she would leave me forever any moment. i just can't control this tears, cause i feel so wrong for making the same stupid mistakes over and over again.


on a lighter note, Angela and Grace came over and we caught up with each other. was nostalgic about KC days, the school is like down the road from my grandmother's house. Grace was so paranoid about the resident cat, Dolly. Dolly used to look like a ball, after facing a mid-life crisis, she lost a hell lot of weight and looks like the sexy feminine little kitty she used to be. however, she's still lazy as ever.

i laughed at my grandmother during dinner as she attempts to shoo Dolly away and called for the maid for help. Dolly was trying to steal my grandmother's chicken. and yes she does join us for dinner and eats at the table. that's how pampered the cat is. and Dolly thought that my bag is some bed or pillow or something cause she slept on it !

:))) that stupid cat. but i love her anyway.





'more than words'

girl-ish fun

vanessa: (walks out of burger king) i need to go to the toilet..
humaira: i also need to go...i'm more urgent than you...wanted to go since just now
vanessa: well, you can choose between the small toilet and the big toilet
humaira: huh ?
vanessa: the trees and the sea !


vanessa: i see so many couples
humaira: i know
vanessa: old couples, young couples ...wait ...there are 2 couples in the sea making out !!!!
humaira: hah ! and 2 girls and a guy trying 2 do a headstand. i bet the guy will start to drown
vanessa: i have never seen a couple kissing in the sea
humaira: i have also never seen a couple kissing in the sea, now i've seen 2 !!! i bet they are having sex right now
vanessa: how would you know ?
humaira: it's possible...no can see if they are wearing pants or not... so they might be doing it
vanessa: then how they come out - naked is it ?
humaira: don't know le. maybe their friends help them take their pants once they are done or their pants are pulled down or something
vanessa: they are kissing and having sex at the same time ? how to coordinate !?!
humaira: i don't know ... why you think so farrrrr


met Joyce and Amirah in the morning then later in the day i met my dear vanessa ong xin yun. we went to east coast park's burger king to study. actually we talked lots of rubbish, mainly my life in MI cause vanessa found it oh-so-fascinating. i told her stories till she laughed her head off. one day she's gonna pay me a visit in school to see it and believe it. we then head off to parkway parade, and hence the conversation... oooh once we were near the underpass we saw Nadia, who totally ignored us untill i said hi to her. how absurd it is that she had 'forgotten' about us after not seeing us for not even a year.

at parkway, vanessa treated me to the coffee bean's vanilla ice blended! thank you darling... i love youuuuu (muacks)
then we went to MPH to browse around. vanessa started to browse through bridal and furnishing magazines. she's so looking forward to her future. we had lots of laughs over the silliest stuff we said. i love VANESSA to death. (vanessa if you are reading this you must admit that you love me to !)

and i just realized that yesterday was friday the 13th! well, nothing really bad happened yesterday, just a lot of funny moments.


laughter can kill you sometimes.





' they tried to make me go to rehab'

liaison.

2 more days to fridayyyy
then its sweet sweet freedom from school
can't wait...

my exams results are like shit by the way
eventhough everyone else don't think so
but i kinda have high expectations for myself
i'm just weird

had a discipline talk by mr ivan lim today
joyce and i sat in front
we had a very nice view of him
all his weird and sarcastic expressions and the words he stresses on
he has a hundred times more of dark humour than mrs seng


went for dance after school
we had to run 2 rounds around the track
everyone was at disbelief when they saw the modern dancers running
we need nice beautiful legs to show off on stage ok
then we had to do our splits at the stadium
with all the dead millipedes and bird poop
everyone who passed by, especially the soccer and rugby boys kept staring
i guess they never see people open their legs big big and wide wide
had to stay back late when everyone else could go off

my mother just walked in my room and she pulled out something long and brown and black with humongous flower prints from the cupboard:

mother: do you think this looks nice on me
humaira: it makes you look like a mak-mak (typical old malay mothers/mak ciks)
mother: but i am a mother what. i have four children. i can't be dressing like a youth forever you know. i'm turning forty soon. soon you will also get married and before you know it, i'll be having grandkids....


poor mother. i think she's facing a mid-life crisis already.



i felt so loved and special lately :))))




'swept me off my feet'

bye-bye seniors :(

went over to sharyn's place yesterday to prepare the stuff for the senior's farewell. was late cause of the heavy downpour.
rachel,huimin,sharyn and i ate one of the lovely pizzas that we made (it was 0.3% burnt,mind you)
we took a cab to vivo, but it took us like 1/2 to flag one down, all thanks to the cab snatchers. huimin started screaming and cursing and swearing till the passer-bys stared at us and sharyn felt too pai seh-ed that she didn't want to stand next to huimin.
so when we reached palawan beach, the four of us decided to get a tan while waiting for the juniors to arrive. tops off for us.
cheryl met us afterwards.
a few came but who cares? we had fun anyway.
the seniors came in later. charlotte,selene,dorinda and muhammad were presented with the sashes and baby ballet shoes that the committee customized. damn cute la when they had to catwalk and pose.
played captain's ball with water bombs...everyone got wet except cheryl so we threw her in the sea.
had dinner and gossiped and the teachers came.
charlotte,rachel,huimin,cheryl,sharyn and i bathed together at the open area...so fun !!! we were screaming and shouting and laughing at each other.
on the way back, we cam whored. i sat next to ms foong in the monorail. she started talking about the geog paper and how everyone did badly, and in my heart i wa like shit. then she started mentioning about afian.

ms foong: (beats my hand gently) aiyo afian ah, he's not doing to well in his studies
humaira: (stammers) uhhh... i don't know... i didn't really talk to him during the holidays...

what does afian's progress in his studies have to do with me???


took the trained home with cheryl and we started to talk about relationships and how the both of us are on the same boat.

ooohh ms foong is leaving...she's off to get married in japan with her japanese boyfriend and she's gonna stay there and teach english... how cool is that ? must plan a farewell party part 2.

i don't feel like going back to school tomorrow :(





'i still don't have a reason'

plan b.

its pouring torrents now... oh no !

yesterday i had committee commitments for the senior's farewell party later.
so huimin and i reached school first, and we decided to wait for the rest outside the school gate.
then suddenly huimin shrieked "oh my god, posterboy,"
and i was like "really!? oh my god,"
so huimin and i pretended not to notice him and we just talked between ourselves.
posterboy was at the bus stop facing us for god knows what reason and he had missed quite a few buses already.
then huimin and i sat at one of the benches at the bus stop, the one where posterboy is sitting on in particular, as the sun was scorching hot.
i kept looking at the opposite bus stop to look out for cheryl and sharyn but posterboy keep looking at me, assuming i was staring at him. he smiled all the way :))
so when cheryl arrived, we were like gathered around the area he was sitting, and he kept lookig at me, smiling whenever i looked back.
the girls and i went in school, and cheryl was like "posterboy knows you is it? he kept looking,"
and i was like "i made a nuisance out of myself in front of him, how can he not know me ?"
haha...i felt what i felt during PAE all over again.

so the girls and i sewed and painted all day long, with the occasional whining and gossiping. went to IMM to feast and giordano to get green shirts which i realize i don't need it till i got back home.

had to do a lot of admin stuff to do once i reached home... randomly talked to people till my brained got fried which brings us to today

i pray that the event we flow smoothly and for a good weather and everyone enjoyed themselves.

the rain, sand and sea + hot studs here i come.




'tell me if its gonna be you'

preparations.

beauty.faith.grace.passion

went shopping for the event on 070707 with the dance committee and 'mat-pek' arid. today is "going one big round day", the exact reason why my legs are hurting now.

we made a lot of noise, at times making a fool out of ourselves... but what the heck. they're my only escape to the 'all-girl school' world. i love them so.

tomorrow is another busy busy day.

' dreaming with your feet '

the things i do at blogthings

You're Almost Ready to Get Married, But Not Quite

No doubt that you've warmed up to the idea of marriage and life long loveYou just aren't quite ready to follow up with your desires, yet.You may be a bit young, or a bit commitment phobic... give it time.Concentrate on guys who you can imagine being with next year. Forever can wait.

You Ready To Be A Wife?

Your Passion is Red!

You've got that spark - a good dose of intensity, power, and determination.You do whatever you want in life ... to hell with what anyone thinks!With so many interests and loves, you're always running around doing something new.You have fire in your eyes, and it shows. Bet you're even wearing something red!

What Type of Passionate Woman Are You?

Your Fashion Style is Girly

You dress to look beautiful and show off what you've gotDresses, skirts, heels... whatever it takes to turn headsYou love feeling like a girl in any settingEven your workout clothes are cute and feminine!

What Kind of Fashionable Woman Are You?

You Are a Tiny Tease

You like to flirt and show off your body, but what confident woman doesn't.You enjoy male attention, and you're usually pretty god at not leading men on.However, there are times when you get carried away with your sexy behavior.It's okay to use your amazing flirting powers for good - but never for evil!

Do Men Think You're You A Tease?

You Are An Attention Seeker

You're only human, so you can't help but want a little attention every now and then.You love the spotlight, but only when it's well deserved. You'd hate to be known for the wrong thing.And you also don't mind sharing the spotlight. You can easily give someone else credit or a complement.You know there's enough attention to go around, and it makes you happy when your friends shine. You come across as: Friendly and interesting People may wrongly think you're: A little more modest than you actually are!

Are You An Attention Whore?

You Are A Professional Girlfriend!

You are the perfect girlfriend - big surprise!Heaven knows you've had enough practice. That's why you're a total pro.If there was an Emily Post of girlfriends, it would be you.You know how to act in every situation ... to make both you and your guy happy.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?

You Are Very Happy Being Single

You're not anti-relationship. You just don't need one to be content. You find plenty of happiness from your life as it is. And if you find someone you love, then that's just icing on an already decadent cake!

Are You Happy Being Single?

You Are a Feminine Beauty!

You make any guy feel like a man, simply by standing next to him You have a classic womanly appeal - and you've got a look for every occasion This doesn't mean that you can't kick back in (designer) jeans and sneakers You just prefer to be girly and sweet as often as possible

What Type of Beauty Are You?

work it now

rachel: brownies are halal or not ah ?
sharyn: my oven is halal. i just cleaned it.
huimin: i boil water for the hotdogs halal or not ah ?
humaira and fadillah stares at each other and burts out laughing

had a meeting with the dance committee at taka mac's. cheryl couldn't make it. i swear we are super corrupted. huimin was an hour late and sharyn (uuuhhhmmm) was 1 and half hour late. we discussed about the upcoming senior's farewell and of course, gossiped at the same time. Rachel, Fadillah and Huimin keep staring at their phones for their beloved boys to contact them while Sharyn and i just stared at each other and laugh. we all agreed to go to Sharyn's place to prepare the food so that she won't be 1 1/2 hour late again. all 5 of us went window shopping after that and then parted.

oooohhh i bumped into eugene, the sji boy who with his friend, keep following nisa and i during the first few weeks of pae. he was there with a girl whom i didn't recognize. i didn't expect to meet him at all

i also bumped into rina, my ex-schoolmate at wisma. she looked damn gorgeous. with that big hair , who wouldn't?

i'm off to study othello.again.


'work it like you're working a pole'

bangs and blows

khalid and i went to get our haircuts on sat. we grumbled and grumbled some more after we got our haircuts cause it was too short. nonetheless we still love our easy breezy new dos.




hey if paris hilton can rock a bob, so can i.

joyce came over yesterday. we were supposed to study being the lazy girls we are, we started to take quizzes and friendster-hopped and joyce was trying to scandal me !



i'm 15% lesbian , i'm gonna be the prom queen
i'm 15 % stress
i'm gonna die at the age of 81 on 21 Apr 2071
i'm 67% A.D.D , i'm a drooler
i'm 90% a female
i have a mind like a politician, outgoing and driven




met up with jordin later in the day. khalid and jordin played. joyce helped to take care of khalid. maira just sit back and relaxed :)


my baby bro is a babe magnet ... too bad his all miiinnnnee.





this is super random. got it from liwen's blog.

RULES
1) Put your music player on shuffle.
2) For each question, press the next button to get ypur answer.
3) You must write that title of that song down no matter how silly it sounds!

If someone says "is this okay?" you say?
What a girl wants

What would best describe your personlaity?
Waiting on the world to change

What do you like in a guy/girl?
Beautiful disaster

How do you feel today?
That's where you take me

What's your life's purpose?
It's not over

What is your motto?
Senorita

What do your friends think of you?
Chemicals react

What do you think of your parents?
Touch of my hand

What do you think about very often?
She will be loved

What do you think of your besties?
Right Now

What do you think of the person you like/love?
The two of us. whoots.

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Dance dance. lol.

What do you think when you see the person you like/love?
My boo. so applicable.

What do your parents think of you?
Say it right


What will you dance to at your wedding?
Dear life

What will they play at your funeral?
I wanna have your babies ... uhhh...ok

What is your hobby?interest?
Smack That

What do you think of your friends?
Love stoned








hahahahaha.
k i'm off to study othello.
and later to a meeting with the committee.








'welcome to the wonderful world of you'