"Are we humans, or are we dancers?"There are two choices. To be human and to have the opportunities that humans do, but to hide our feelings, or to be a dancer - to lay your feelings bare - to wear your heart on your sleeve, but the bliss can't last long.
My life has been pretty much the same, school dance homework diploma dance, and on weekends, I get to have fun (by having movie marathons with baby). Last week was horrible, i could not contact baby for like 10 days at all and I miss him a lot; dance has become more intensive and vigorous, pushing me and the rest of the dancers beyond their limits (I broke down during dance, and usually don't do that, it was really gruesome and painful, i have like swollen knees now); as a result of the late dance practices, i reached home late every night, a standard time of 9.30, which made my parents fuming mad because they didn't believe me that CCAs could end so late. Parents, they're so ignorant sometimes. And i have to run from investiture rehearsal then to dance practice, then back to investiture rehearsal; with the tiredness of having so many activities and emotions pulling you apart, its no wonder that I can't really focus on my schoolwork and revising my work for A's, the most is just doing my homework, even that I can't complete.
While baby's away, dance has been keeping me super busy everyday (like for at least 6 days a week). We're suppose to smile throughout the entire dance, but its so hard to do so when you're in pain after doing continuous rounds of the dance itself, and you're energy level just sharply drop when you're overwhelmingly tired. You feel like crying but you can't show that to the instructors because they'll think you're weak. I guess that's life for you.
(Wendy made a joke when the both of us sat out during PE due to our muscle cramps; "If I were to die soon and I have one minute left to live on this earth, I'll give you my best expression," and she did gave me her best expression of serenity and happiness, along with our dance pose.)
This coming week is gonna be an eventful one (since baby's back, I am so ever greatful for the surprise appearance during yesterday's lunch with the dancers), 16th monthsary on Monday, both dance practice and investiture rehearsal on Monday and Tuesday, Investiture on Wednesady, SYF on Thursday, Friday I get to go home early for the first time in the year, and Saturday I'll turn to a ripe nineteen-year-old.
Trillions of thank you-s and appreciation to Joyce, Maria and Darwina for helping me through this horrible weak, and to others too whom gave me some encouragement, to the modern dancers, we will be victorious. And to baby, nothing has changed the way I feel about you, I'm still very much in love with you.
Have a great week ahead =)
